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How about a new ACLU?

~EDITORIAL

Maybe it’s time for a version of the American Civil Liberties Union that actually defends the entire Bill of Rights, instead of just the parts of it that the liberals like. 

There are ten, count ‘em, ten articles in the Bill of Rights, which includes the 1st Amendment, which the ACLU was always strong in defending, and the 2nd Amendment, which the ACLU has conveniently forgotten is one of our original and most important “civil liberties.”

Perhaps the ACLU should change its name to the American Civil Liberties That Liberals Like Union. Or the Politically Correct Civil Liberties Union. Because they sure as shootin’ aren’t dedicated to defending the Bill of Rights any longer. And yes, pun intended! The 2nd Amendment is the poor stepchild or the crazy uncle in the attic for the ACLU. And increasingly the previously sacrosanct 1st Amendment is become less so for the organization that once famously defended the rights of American Nazis to march in Skokie.  

So if the ACLU isn’t defending the 1st Amendment and they aren’t’ defending the 2nd Amendment, what exactly are donors to the venerable organization getting besides a tax write-off?

Why don’t they just wear short sleeve shirts?

I’ve noticed over the years that when some candidate wants everyone to think of them as a Kennedy reincarnated they show up in shirt sleeves, which they then proceed to roll up. This signals that they are ready to “roll up their sleeves” when they get to Washington D.C.

Candidates who live near beaches can also be photographed walking on the beach and looking out to sea in a visionary sort of way that suggests that they are in tune with the future, which of course they are much more interested in than other folks. Especially Republicans, who are always more interested in the past!

I noticed our young—and might I just say very impressive— Democratic candidate for the 50th Congressional district, Ammar Campa Najjar, showed up with rolled up sleeves when he arrived for a candidate forum held at a local church.

And of course, the favorite flavor of the month among Democratic giant killers is Beto O’Rourke in Texas, who makes appearances with sweat stains and rolled up shirt sleeves wherever he goes to do the Lord’s work against incumbent Senator Ted Cruz. 

My question is: If it’s hot, why don’t you guys just wear short sleeves?  A golf shirt is a nice look for someone seeking power. It suggests the board room—and therefore projects an aura of authority.

Of course, you don’t want to project TOO much of an authority aura, or you will run afoul of the MeToo movement, which has been racking up an alarming number (for predators)  of kills in recent months on powerful (and perhaps not coincidentally, ugly) guys who are—or were— powerful and have used that power to get dates. Yes, I know, “dates” is a euphemism, but this is a family newspaper! 

A good percentage of these kills come thanks to the young, talented journalist Ronan Farrow, son of Mia Farrow, a fellow who knows a thing or two about sexual predators given that he is the step-son of Woody Allen.

The latest trophy is Les Moonves, whom many credit with making CBS the media powerhouse it is today. He joins the growing list that includes Steve Wynn, who is now reduced to singing “Take a chance on me!” because he too is uglier than a post, but also Charlie Rose (ugleeeeee!); Bill Cosby, so ugly he needed to use knock-out drops; and the guy who started it all, Harvey Weinstein, a man so eye-piercingly ugly that the editors of Merriam-Webster are researching a new word to set the verbal bar even higher—just for him.

I’m tying the MeToo movement and the candidates who want to remind us of Kennedy together to bring up what for me is a hilarious irony. Candidates want to recall the “romance” of the Kennedys, but to forget that the Kennedys are known for preying on, and occasionally submerging, young women. Maybe it’s time for better role models.

Clearly, the path forward for those wanting to become successful people, is to shed the “power image,” and become sexless drones. And, most important of all, stay on the good side of Ronan Farrow!

*Note: Opinions expressed by columnists and letter writers are those of the writers and not necessarily those of the newspaper.

One response to “How about a new ACLU?”

  1. Ray Carney says:

    How about no (A)narchists, (C)ommunists ,(L)eftists, (U)nite. In my 57 years, I have NEVER seen them act on the average American.

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